And, as it turned out, it really wasn't as bad as I had imagined in my head. All week, I thought and thought about the party, writing lists and cleaning little nooks and crannies of my house in preparation for the big day. When Saturday rolled around, I set Tom to work (putting the valances up in the living room, mowing the lawn, cleaning and organizing the basement) while I made brownies, vaccuumed the house and found more things that needed to be cleaned. I must have been pretty nervous that morning though, I changed my shirt 3 times before people showed up for the party at 3PM, I was sweating so much from anxiety I guess. But I shouldn't have been so nervous, by 1PM, everything was done in the house. And no matter how hard I looked for something that needed to be cleaned, there really wasn't any more to do, the house was honestly (If I do say so myself) immaculate. So I lay down on the couch for a little to rest while Kira took a nap. At 2:30PM, Kristina, Tom's sister, showed up with party decorations and helped me get things set up. Right around that time, Tom's grandparents (his Mom's parents) showed up. They only stayed an hour because they had to be somewhere that afternoon and almost as soon as they had left, Tom's other grandparents along with his stepmom and her 2 kids showed up so it really worked out wonderfully.
Around 4PM, we put a candle on Kira's carrot cake and sang "Happy Birthday." Then everyone gathered in the living room to eat cake and watch Kira/Mommy open her presents. She got some more cardboard books, clothes and a little miniature grocery cart with fake food and condiments. By 4:30PM, the party was winding down and everyone said there goodbyes and were on there way. And with that, it was over. All that silly worrying over a little party that actually went fine and everyone had good time.
Yesterday in church, our Pastor was preaching on Isaiah 40. At verse 11, the scripture tells us that "He will feed his flock like a shepherd, he will gather the lambs in his arm, and carry them in his bosom, [and] will gently lead those that have their young." In one of his illustrations in reference to this passage, our pastor was talking about how having kids isn't just about helping them grow, it is also to help US to grow as parents. This is so true. Without Kira, I wouldn't have really had to face this fear and throw a party. But I felt it was important to do for her so I did it and grew though it. Isaiah 40:11 is a comforting thought to me that the Lord is gently leading us and carrying us in his arms because I can understand it now in relation to how I feel about Kira.
